If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
