You work out of a Hotel?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
