I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
