boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
not ubering you a puppy
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