Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
