A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if i can run in heels then i can drive
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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