Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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