You can't special order awesome
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
