I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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