i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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