Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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