drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
