Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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