doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i've created a new STD.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
