Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
