yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
