he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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