if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
