Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
