I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
