He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
