He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize