I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I need a burrito and a hug.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You ruined the universe
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
