He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
this hospital has no fireball
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
