I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
