this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
