In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
