How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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