dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
