I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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