so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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