he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
