good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
