I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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