I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
