Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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