my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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