Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
