Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
And then he peed in my hair
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
