I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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