just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
