also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You pole danced in your parka.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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