then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
