I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
