It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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