yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
