I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
