Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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