I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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