My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
