with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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