My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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