what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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