i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
