They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I forget how to act sober
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
