i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize